Life Is Not Easy

This morning I was looking over the Vernal newspaper online as I do every Thursday. I usually just glance over it, I hardly ever read an article. But once in awhile something grabs my attention and for some unknown reason the obituaries of the young always are an interest to me. Today there was an obituary about a 12 year old boy. It talked about a few things that he was good at and loved to do. Near the end it said, "Life was not easy for -----, he had challenges many did not understand". That just kinda hit home for me. We have special challenges in our family, which most people have NO idea about. It takes a toll on our whole family and it can become very draining. Some people have seen a glimpse of it and brush it off as nothing. But to me and my family, it is HUGE.


These challenges quite often arise in public. I've had several strangers confront me and give me their very cruel opinions or comments. Some of them have been very traumitizing to me. I've learned to try my hardest to disregard their reactions. They certainly don't know what they are talking about, they are clueless about our situation. Some people smile, they have probably been through it a time or two and are just glad it's not them. But for us, it happens almost everywhere we go, and also at home. Some people are angels. I have had a couple of strangers help me through the most trying times of my life. Most recently while dealing with our special challenges in public, a stranger in the distance locked her eyes on mine. As she got closer she stopped. She talked to me for a minute and told me that I was doing my best, and that I needed to put a smile on my face and stand up tall. I just wanted to bawl. In fact I did, I later called Chris to tell him about it and couldn't hold back the tears. I have had maybe a handful of strangers through the years that have made a difference like she did that day.


Sometimes I can also brush our issues off and laugh about them. But it can be hard since we deal with them almost daily. For the most part, they are getting much better! I hope they go away! I have learned to be on the defense about these challenges, because of some of our past experiences. It can also be a very sensitive subject, with the emotions so close to the surface ready to explode.


What I need to do IS stand up tall - every time! I need to forget about me. My child is not doing this to me. My child has challenges most of us don't understand. I don't think that even he, himself understands. I know my child, but I certainly don't understand. We all have challenges, some of them last minutes, some for our whole life. My child most definately has challenges, and life has not been easy for him. But as I read the obituary this morning I was able to see our issues in a different light. These are his challenges, it's not about ME! I am not the victim. I have to stand up tall, instead of feeling beaten down all the time. I have to be there for him, to help him through it all. I love my child. I love my children - all 3 of them!