Hayden

Oh Hayden, where do I even begin? Hayden definately has a mind of his own, and he can't wait to use it how he would like to. I told him, only 11.5 more years, and he can have complete control, until then, Chris and I get to be the boss! No really, I love how he uses his mind (most of the time). And no matter what we say, he says we are not the boss of him. I don't think he would mind if Kyrie was his boss, though. So far he will do anything she says and he just giggles and grins through it all. He sure loves his sister, and she loves him right back. He asks her for a hug when he's feeling sad, and somehow her hugs really do cheer him up. Hayden can be so serious and hilarious at the same time. Like the day he insisted on wearing a white shirt and a tie to church, and when we got to church he was writing on a piece of paper and said "This is where you sign up to be Bishop, and I'm signing up!". We sure get a lot of enjoyment from him! But we also get extra sleep because of him, he definatley wears us out, sometimes I think he himself is worth 4 kids or more. 4 times the smiles and laughter and 4 times the work and patience. I remember when he was really little someone told us "it's because he has this giant spirit trapped in this tiny body". I guess that's one way to look at it! We go through these phases with Hayden where everything for the most part is going really well and we're making really good progress, and then we go through phases where it's just all really hard and we are currently in one of those phases. We are out of ideas to help him and we have thought of every game our minds could come up with and we just feel burned out. Sometimes it gets really hard on us and Chris and I get really frustrated and it effects the whole family. But the poor kid! I just feel so bad for him and I feel things are really unfair for him. I just don't understand why simple things have to be so hard for him. I realize things could be much worse, and I know others deal with life challenges that would be so much harder to deal with, so I guess I should be greatful that it is what it is. But really I do feel so bad for him. For the most part the mood in our house is really good and Hayden gets along with everyone. But if things aren't just his way he cries - over everything! Thankfully it doesn't last hours like it used to, but it sure adds a lot of stress. He gets along good at school and all of the kids love him. Chris is afraid that might soon change. Chris (the meanine) said he would've been that kid at school that would have teased Hayden and made fun of him. We just had our yearly IEP meeting and found out numbers can be shocking and painful. According to the Goldman-Fristoe test, Hayden is in the 1st percentile in speech for his age. He also continues to struggle with his motor skillls, which makes it very hard and frustrating for him to do his school work. Then because of his speech, it makes it difficult to sound out anything to write it on paper. He does pretty well at school although he can't do his work as fast and can't get as far as the other kids. But at home he lets out all of his frustration, he realizes it's not as good as the other kids or as good as Dusty's and it is effecting his self esteem. I don't understand why simple things can be so hard for some. At the meeting we reviewed our goals from the past year, and set new goals for this next year. The psychologist suggested a few things to be added to his IEP that will really protect him next year. I am so greatful for the concern and the help we are getting from the school. Hayden has been blessed with some really good teachers and therapists that have been so loving and understanding. So what is in a number? Hearing that he is only in the 1st percentile really shocked me! He has made so much progress and we can understand him most of the time now. This time last year, I couldn't understand him very often and he couldn't, hadn't EVER produced the "k" sound. He worked and worked so hard on it and he has been able to say the "k" sound for about 8 months, although he doesn't use it like he should. He is very smart, intellectually we aren't worried at all. He knows all the sounds the letters make individually and last week when we went over his sight words, he only missed 2, and he read through the rest pretty fast. And he is a wizard on the computer. He is still progressing and I know he will continue with that. I know he will do great things, he sure is stubborn and determined, and with those qualities he could really get somewhere someday if he puts his mind to it. In the mean time, I just hope there aren't very many kids out there (like Chris), who would tease Hayden for something that is so simple to some but very difficult for others. Sure we feel so much frustration and stress in our home but we also get so much joy, maybe it depends more on my mood and how I perceive it. I guess it's just been on my mind more since we just had the big meeting. Dusty and Hayden are growing up and don't always act like best friends anymore, but we couldn't ask for a better brother for Kyrie, Hayden is so loving toward her and would do anything for her. I just hope things get easier for him, we love you Hayden!